The average person retains 25% of what they hear. Julian Treasure has a great quote: “the premium on accurate and careful listening has disappeared.” Listening takes brainpower. There are studies that show the human brain can only understand 1.6 conversations at a time, which is enough for one person, and a little bit of your inner monologue¹.

The world is distracting, and noisy, and fighting for every second of your attention. Average screen time has climbed to 7 hours a day. Julian says “the art of conversation is being replaced by personal broadcasting. And it’s harder for us to pay attention to the quiet, the subtle, the understated.”

Do you see it in your day to day conversations? The people half paying attention; the lack of interesting follow up questions. Do you see it in yourself? I know I do.

A world of bad listeners is a scary thing.

“Conscious listening creates understanding.” - Julian Treasure
So what happens if we lose our conscious listeners. What happens if we fall into the trap of becoming bad ones ourselves?

In his talk², Julian, offers several meditative tools for becoming a better listener. It inspired us to share a practice we use called co-listening. It’s simple and takes less than 10 minutes. Grab a friend or your partner and try it. If you’re like us, you’ll find that it’s lovely to feel heard, and surprisingly challenging to truly listen. We recommend doing this while walking, but sitting side by side works too. It helps not to look at each other; that way, the listener can focus entirely on what’s being said, not how to respond.

Step 1: Pick who goes first.
Step 2: Choose a broad topic (e.g., What’s been on your mind recently? What’s one part of your life you want to improve? What makes you happy?).
Step 3: Set a timer for 3–5 minutes. A timer is helpful at first; once you’re used to the practice, you may not need it.
Step 4: Start the timer. The first person speaks for the full duration. No interruptions, no questions. The second person listens as if meditating on their partner’s words. It may feel awkward at first; be patient and let the words come.
Step 5: When the time is up, the listener thanks the speaker, and the speaker thanks the listener. If you spoke, notice how it feels to be heard with full attention. If you listened, notice what arose as you focused on listening without preparing a response.
Step 6: Switch roles and repeat.

Optional: Between turns, it can be meaningful for the listener to briefly reflect back what they heard.

If you’re a teacher, this is a great post-workshop activity. Pair students to debrief in a way where everyone gets to be heard.

My mind wants to speak
to barge in with importance
like a five year old who’s just been struck with brilliance
a leaf waivers in the wind and reflects the morning sun
it needs no interrupting
nor does she
in the moment of thought between ideas
in the moment of releasing her truth beyond herself
every breaking in
is a breaking something built
and a gift to give that changes lives
is a listen silent with ears a wise

Until next time,

Live your light.